You can probably name at least five people off the top of your head that you avoid dealing with at all costs. This might be a boss, a supervisor or maybe even a relative, whoever it is, this is a person that you seem to butt heads with, no matter what you’re talking about. The good news is that you can learn to be a successful communicator – even when you’re dealing with difficult people. In fact, it’s easier than you think.
Why People are Difficult
Before you enter into any social or interactive situation, you might want to keep in mind that everyone’s personalities are different. We were all raised by different people, have had different experiences and we’ve all learned to communicate in different ways. This does not make any of us right or wrong, but what it does do is create an opportunity for us to learn how to interact with anyone – no matter what comes out of their mouth. Recognizing our differences is the beginning of learning to deal with them.
Another idea to keep in mind is that people aren’t generally out to hurt other people – at least, not intentionally. Most people are simply trying to get what they want in order to be happy. And while it might seem as though they are trying to be difficult with you, it’s generally because you’re not addressing their needs.
Finding Out Their Needs
When you find yourself in a situation where someone is being belligerent or just difficult, start asking questions about the problem they seem to have. By taking a few moments to break down the troubles into more manageable pieces, you will begin to see where you can help and where you might not be understanding someone else. Listening to the other person is paramount when you want to begin to start a peaceful dialogue. Ask them what they mean and then rephrase what they’ve said to you in terms you understand to make sure you are both on the same page.
Sometimes all it takes is listening to someone else to cause them to calm down and become more reasonable. As you listen, you will find out what they need from you so that you can give that to them and then you can offer up the needs you have – everyone gets what they want.
Here are some tips on dealing with difficult people:
- Speak softly if they are yelling or raising their voice – This will cause them to lower their voice as well, which then causes their heart rate and talking rate to slow.
- Take deep breaths before you talk
- Don’t look away from them
- If you don’t know what to do, let them know this and then promise to get back to them later.
Successful communication isn’t about tricking the other person into saying what you want them to say. Contrary to some self-help books. Strong communication begins when you recognize that no one is perfect and that you can’t change the other person -but you can listen to see what they want to tell you and then respond to that.
Sean Rasmussen is a full time internet marketer and is the accredited author of the Mindset Mastery eBook. He is a graduate of 21st Century Academy. His real passions are the topics of motivation, lifestyle, self improvement and success.