Two years ago there were fourteen Americans on the list of the world’s twenty richest people. Now there are four. Thanks to Warren Buffett and his $62 billion, an American remains on op of the list and Buffett can thank his company, Berkshire Hathaway. Being able to float loans enables Buffett to buy a wide range of companies. In fact, if you’ve ever worn UGG’s, you can say you’ve walked a mile in Warren Buffett’s shoes.

Not all the mega rich, however, are investing in companies. Some are investing in art. One of Claude Monet’s paintings recently sold for $80.5 million. That’s almost twice as much as any of his other paintings have sold for. A month ago a painting by Lucian Freud sold for more than $33 million. That’s the most ever paid for a work by a living artist. It and an $86 million Frances Bacon triptych were bought by a Russian billionaire. The buyers at Art Basel, the major art festival in Switzerland, used to be 1/3 American. Now, because of the U.S. Economy, 1/10 are American. Now American buyers are having to resort to a new way of buying art. They’re borrowing money from companies like Art Capitol Group and using the art they buy as collateral. For some of the rich art is a hang-up.

For Michael Jordon endorsements are his new game. Although Jordon retired in 2001, he makes $40 million from endorsements. That’s $109,589 a day, which means he earns $36,528 while he’s sleeping. If Jordon wanted to save his money to buy a $90,000 Acura NSX, it would take him less than twenty hours. He may pay $200 for a round of golf, but he earns $18,264 while he’s playing. This year Jordon will earn twice as much as all our past presidents combined. Nevertheless, even if he saved all his money for the next fifty years, Michael Jordon wouldn’t be as rich as Bill Gates is now. Nerd outscores jock.

Where do the world’s rich bargain hunt? Maybe at their local dump. Bargain hunters in upscale suburbs like Wellesley, Massachusetts are picking through trash and driving away in their BMW’s and Mercedes with everything from flat screen monitors to Wedgwood crystal bowls. Drop and shop has become so popular some towns have to hire police to keep outsiders out. Dump devotees don’t want to talk to strangers – not even trash talk.

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In 1955 when researchers counted the punctuation in period texts they found a change in our way of communicating. They discovered there had been a surprising drop in semicolon usage between the 18th and 19th centuries. The drop from 68.1 semicolons per one thousand words to 17.7 was attributed to technology. What was the new technology in the 1850′s? It was the telegraph – or what science writer Tom Standage called the “Victorian internet”. The first telegraph that could successfully send messages across wires with electricity was made by Samuel Morse in 1837. Because telegraph charges for punctuation were the same as charges for words, people started using short, punchy lines and minimal punctuation to save money. In the 1850′s, because of the telegraph, the English language experienced a semi-colonoscopy.

Facial expressions are a form of communication that haven’t changed with time and are similar in every culture. According to researchers at the University of Toronto, however, facial expressions have a purpose other than social communication. That purpose is survival. To test their hypothesis the researchers asked student volunteers to make polar opposite expressions – fear and disgust. When the students raised their eyebrows and lifted their eyelids in expressing fear, their visual field increased, their eye movements sped up and their nostrils enlarged. All these changes increased their ability to obtain sensory information. When the students’ noses wrinkled and their upper lips were raised in expressing disgust, sensory information was shut out. What the researchers proved was what Darwin thought in 1872. Facial expressions have a survival advantage. Obviously, Darwin’s thinking was more evolved for his time than the students’ thinking.

Female primates, part of Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, communicate to sex partners by the sounds they make during sex. However, when researchers from Scotland’s University of St. Andrews were studying chimpanzees in Uganda, they discovered female chimpanzees don’t always make what is called a copulation call. These female primates were more discreet. When seven females were studied over a period of months, they had 287 sexual encounters, but made copulation calls only one-third of the time. It seems there’s a ranking of importance among chimpanzees and the females in the study wouldn’t make a copulation call if a higher-ranking female was nearby. That was because higher-ranking females are often violent to their competitors. It seems what the researchers discovered was more than discretion. They discovered female chimpanzees practice safe sex.

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There are lots of things I could do without – like more people moving to Southern California. Judging by the freeways, there are too many people now. There are too many mathematicians. Those are the drivers who take the shortest route between two points – which includes crossing from the far lane and cutting in front of me to get to an exit. The absent-minded professors are drivers who forget to use their directional signals when they change lanes, causing me to jam on my brakes to avoid hitting their – class. Then there are the old boyfriend drivers. They follow too closely, refusing to be a passing fancy.

I wish boys could do without the hip hop look. What started with African-American and Latino youth in the Bronx has spread worldwide. Fine – run with it. Just don’t try to run in the oversized pants. I have no idea what keeps them up – unless it’s peer pressure.

At the gym, in cars, on the street – it seems no one can do without bottled water – but according to a kidney expert at the University of Pennsylvania, we can. He dispels five myths about water. First, there’s no scientific reason for needing to drink eight glasses of water a day. Second, water doesn’t remove toxins from the blood – the kidney does. Third, because the body is 60% water, drinking a few glasses of water a day won’t make skin healthier. Fourth, drinking water only helps with weight loss if it prevents us from putting something else in our mouth. And fifth, dehydration doesn’t occur unless we lose 2% of our body weight. Although the American College of Sports Medicine advices athletes to drink 16oz of fluid a couple of hours before activity, most of us aren’t athletes. Basically, there’s one way to know if we need water. We feel thirsty.

Although I wanted to do without a cell phone – although I wanted to keep my car a no-call zone, a place where I could give myself a timeout from the world, I now have a cell phone – and I couldn’t do without it. I use it when I’m late, when I need directions and when my car breaks down. Oh yes, and I used it to find my husband when I was lost in a Las Vegas Casino. Unfortunately, having a cell phone didn’t help me find my lost money.

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There are some things that are just funny whether they were intended to be or not. Like tripping over your own feet, that fall you took off of the edge of your porch, or the broken heel you got when you managed to wedge your shoe in the door to keep the elevator from closing.

Now, breaking your heel to hold the elevator door may not be considered a funny thing to you, but it is to the group of people that watched you fight with your shoe for twenty minutes trying to get it unstuck. Anything funny can come from the most innocent moments. This funny stuff sometimes happens out of the blue and causes onlookers to wish for a camera to capture it.

That funny stuff in the emails you get each day and forward. Pictures you took with unexpected people in the background are funny things too. When your cat fell in the bathtub with you, that was some funny stuff. Not the scratches you got, of course, but the cat trying to scramble its way back to dry land.

Anything funny will cause people to laugh and ask for a repeat performance. Some want laughs so badly they will set up others so that funny stuff happens to them. The old bucket-of-water-over-the-door trick may be a little outdated, but it is still a funny thing to do to an unsuspecting person.

Although different people have a different view of what funny things are. Some consider hiding rubber snakes to be funny. But nothing funny is seen about it by the one screaming at the snake until they realize that it is a fake.

Funny stuff happens all the time when you have children. Kids are adorable and they will embarrass you given the chance; parroting is the most common of the funny things kids do. By parroting, I don’t mean they repeat what you are saying to them. No, this would not embarrass you. Instead they wait until you are talking to someone and repeat what you didn’t think they heard, which has a tendency to turn your face red. While your face is red, the person you were speaking with tries, usually unsuccessfully, to suppress their laughter, proving yet again that funny things are different for everyone.

Funny stuff can occur from forgetfulness as well. Like something funny that can happen in your kitchen, for instance. Pouring yourself a drink and putting it in the refrigerator. Then you go around looking for that same drink for half an hour while those that watched you put it in the fridge stand by and say nothing.

Anything funny caught on film becomes funnier as it is shared with the world. The funniest things aren’t staged, but just happen, or at least look like they just happened out of nowhere. Hidden wires and things left out of place can lead to funny stuff happening when someone that is not in on the set-up enters the picture. The unsuspecting person walks in and takes flight as they hit the wire strung across the room, unable to catch their balance.

These are proof that anything funny can come from funny things that were not realized to be funny by all who were there at the time.

Sebastian Marders never grew out of a love for creative writing, and he now uses the medium to write about any topic that catches his fancy, and share the websites that inspired the piece with his readers. If you would like to see an assortment of funny junk including funny videos and funny pics then please visit.

Are you looking for an affordable, yet effective way to reach your community? One that will be an encouragement to your members, as well as a meaningful way to share God’s love with your local community? Here are 7 ways a Christian comedian can help your church provide both encouragement and outreach within your community:

1. Comedy benefits every one, not just Christians

If there is one entertainment choice that everyone enjoys, it is the genre of comedy. Everyone likes to laugh whether they are a professing Christian or seeker of the faith. Comedy touches all demographics.

2. Comedy is inexpensive and easy to do

Unlike the cost of bringing in a musician or other groups of entertainers, a comedian is simple and painless. There are little technical requirements, and the travel costs for only one person rather than a group. In addition, there are comedians for all types of budgets and programs.

3. Comedy can be tailored to your event

Regardless of your event, comedy is a great choice and fit. Whether your event is aimed at fundraising, outreach, or an informal church service, Christian comedy is a great way to reach the goals of your event.

4. Comedy is fun

How many times have your heard it said or came across the perception that Christianity is about a lot of strict rules and not a lot of fun? A Christian comedy event shatters this myth. Your audience will leave your event in a good mood and with the changed perception that Christians do have a lot of fun.

5. Comedy communicates

Comedy is a non-threatening, yet meaningful way to communicate God’s love to a world in need. Comedy provides an authentic visual communication of God’s grace and forgiveness in a friendly environment to those that would not have been open before.

6. Comedy shows that your church is relative to today’s culture

A good comedian makes a church appear hip and living in the current world. And a comedian whose savior is Jesus Christ is living proof that a contemporary outlook, and a sense of humor about the Christian lifestyle are important and vital in today’s culture.

7. Comedy reaches a wider audience than other genres of entertainment

Other Christian entertainment genres only draw a certain audience, whereas comedy welcomes everyone. Parenting workshops target parents, childrens events target families. Comedy events target families, single adults, youth, and more mature audiences.

Are you looking for more information about outreach comedy? Then I invite you to check out http://www.nashvillespeakers.com/ where you will find a wealth of clean Christian comedians for your next church outreach event that will leave you gasping for air, rather than money.

Who knew the cost of gas would triple in eight years? Wyoming pays the least for gas and California pays the most – but the cost of gas is going up all around the country. Among the reasons given for this are unstable world conditions, increased demand because China and India are becoming industrialized, OPEC cutting production, strict U.S. emission standards, increasing refinery costs, oil company mergers and taxes added to the cost of gas for road maintenance. Although we need to be oil-free and have a safe source of energy, less than $1.13 per person per year is spent on solar, wind and ethanol research – combined. If government doesn’t take action soon, I’ll be forced to use a four-letter word – walk.

Since I may be doing a lot of walking, I’m thinking shoes. Who knew what was coming when Leon Leonwood Bean made a waterproof, hunting boot in his brother-in-law’s, Freeport, Maine basement in 1912. Leon sent a mail-order brochure for his boot to all non-residents who had a Maine, hunting license. Unfortunately, 90 of the 100 pairs which were ordered were returned; but because Leon had guaranteed satisfaction, he redesigned his boot and the rest is history. L.L. Bean now sends out 150 million catalogs a year and sells hundreds of products worldwide. Instead of a “hasbean”, Leon was a “shoeper” success.

Who knew looking at the Apple logo could make you more creative; but according to a study published in the Journal of Consumer Research, it does. People shown Apple’s logo for 30 milliseconds behaved 20-30% more creatively than those shown IBM’s logo. IBM’s logo made people feel more competent and professional. It seems we unconsciously mimic the traits we associate with logos. This might mean an apple a day could keep both the doctor and doldrums away.

Finally, who knew bottled water consumption would double between 1999 and 2004, reaching 41 billion gallons a year. At 7 billion gallons, the U.S. is the largest consumer, followed by Mexico, China and Brazil. Unfortunately, most bottled water isn’t consumed at home, which means only 12% of the bottles are recycled – as opposed to 30% of plastic, soft drink bottles. The rest go into the trash or become litter. Because states that have bottle deposit laws recycle 4 out of 5 bottles, it may be time for a national law. It may be time for an idea that holds water.

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If I ran the world, I’d outlaw rap music because – it isn’t music. It’s negative, violent, police bashing, women debasing, trash talk. It’s the kind of talk that would have gotten my sons sent to their rooms for an extended period of time. This, of course, would have been followed by complaints that such treatment was unfair – but maybe that’s where rap comes from – from boys thinking they got a bad rap.

When I see a car with an array of dents and scratches, I think bad driver – but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the drivers of those demolition-derby-dropouts are just unlucky victims of others’ motoring mistakes. If I ran the world, drivers would get a notch in their license plates for every accident they caused. The more notches in a license plate, the more we’d know to avoid that car – thus reducing the number of “cartastrophes”.

In 1956 the Department of Agriculture introduced the four, basic, food groups – meat, dairy, grain, and fruits and vegetables. In 1992 the groups were revised and presented in the shape of a pyramid, with fats, oils and sweets at the top. The pyramid itself was revised in 2005. Fats, oils and sweets were removed and dairy was changed to milk – but it’s still not right. There should be four, basic food groups; and they should be canned, frozen, prepared and take-out.

Then there’s politics. Everyone knows politicians bend the truth in their speeches. They tell people what they want to hear and what will get them votes. I would subject politicians to the Pinocchio Test, which would make their noses longer when they lied. This would make it much easier for voters to choose candidates and I don’t see why the candidates would be opposed to this. Don’t they all have a nose for news?

To avoid noses that were so long that politicians would trip over them, I would require politicians to put both hands on the Bible when they were being sworn into office. That way we could see if their fingers were crossed.

Of course, if I ran the world, I’d change the way politicians are elected. I’d eliminate the Electoral College and super delegates. I’d eliminate the possibility of candidates winning because they had the most delegates – as apposed to having the most popular votes. One person, one vote – isn’t that the way we vote for American Idols?

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The Oxford English Dictionary contains 616,500 words and 10,000 – 20,000 of those are in the average person’s vocabulary. Unfortunately, a large percent of those words are only in our recognition vocabularies – not in our everyday speech. Maybe that’s why greeting cards are a seven and a half million dollar business. Maybe we’re willing to pay $4.99 for a card because we’re short on words.

The Miriam Webster Dictionary has more than 100 new words and phrases in its 2007 edition. For example, a sandwich generation is a generation that simultaneously cares for aging parents and growing children. A soul patch is a small spot of beard under a man’s lip. Polyamory is the practice of having more than one openly romantic relationship at the same time. Because the English language is constantly growing, dictionary publishers will never get the last word.

The English language is also confusing. An allusion is a direct reference and an illusion is a misconception. Bimonthly is every two months and semimonthly is twice a month. Few is small in number and less is small in amount. Precede means comes before and proceed means move forward. Then there’s flammable and inflammable, which mean the same and alright, which doesn’t mean anything because it’s not a word – all right?

Because our language is confusing, words get mixed up; and we get malapropisms. “A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore”, “You can observe a lot by watching”, “Ninety percent of the game is half mental” – Yogi Berra is famous for malapropisms. Most men have to try to be as good as their word, but Yogi is better than his.

Puns are phrases that deliberately exploit confusion between similar sounding words for a humorous effect. For example, a Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Or … a gossip is someone with a sense of rumor. I grew up in a family of punsters. No, I should rephrase that. I survived a childhood of punishment.

People started playing with words in 1913. That’s when Arthur Wynne created crossword puzzles. Eleven years later almost every American newspaper had a crossword puzzle. Their popularity led to Scrabble and Sudoku. Fifty million people try to unpuzzle these puzzles every day, making them the most popular word game in the world. Crossword puzzles can’t get any more popular than that unless cross words are used in heaven.

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Secretary, knitting instructor, social worker, writer – I’ve enjoyed my work. I’ve also enjoyed other peoples’ work – like hairdressers. When I’m in a salon, I enjoy watching hairdressers change the look of their clients. Usually people with straight hair want curly hair and those with curly hair want straight hair; but with all the products on the market today, we can have the look we want. Rinses and dyes, perms and straighteners, extensions and implants – I’m continually amazed by how many unnatural ways there are to look natural.

Jobs come in all shapes and sizes. In 2008 seven of the ten most popular jobs were in the medical field and the other three were computer-related. Among the ten most popular jobs for parents returning to the workforce were non-profit manager, marketing analyst, accountant and bookkeeper. Is it just me or do the years I spent as an at-home mom sound like on-the-job-training for those.

According to a study published in “Occupational and Environmental Medicine”, long working hours increase the risk of injury and illness; and that risk has nothing to do with how dangerous the job is. In the U.S. up to one-third of overtime is compulsory and employees working overtime are 61% more likely to have work-related injuries or illness. Although both Europe and Japan have laws that limit work time, the U.S. can’t get its laws to work.

Because so many companies have moved their manufacturing business to countries with cheaper labor, three million manufacturing jobs have been lost since 2001.That’s the bad news. The good news is that the higher-paying, high-skill, manufacturing jobs have grown by 37%. This is because the baby boomers are retiring and leaving 90% of American manufacturers short of qualified workers. By qualified workers they mean workers with strong skills in math, science and computer. Unfortunately, students who are strong in these skills don’t think of manufacturing as a career. Nevertheless, because these jobs are predicted to pay about $70,000 a year, students should re-tool their thinking.

Money is the difference between work and a hobby. A hobby gives us a chance to do something the best we can; but because we’re not being paid to do it, no one tells us that we’re not doing it well enough. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. Yahoo lists pyrotechnics as a hobby, but that’s a hobby I’d have to be paid to have.

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Because of the importance of money, many people frame the first dollar they earned. I didn’t. Because I earned my first dollar selling lemonade, I would have had to frame four quarters. Nevertheless, because I believe it’s never too late, I framed my first earnings notification from Google. For selling ads on my blog I was notified I’d earned two cents. I interpreted that as meaning someone had gotten their two cents worth.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, however, there are better paying jobs. The top-paying jobs are doctor, pilot and chief executive. Because not everyone is qualified for those jobs, the Bureau reported that the top-paying jobs for high school graduates are computer software engineer, computer systems manager and computer programmer. For those without a high school degree, the top-paying jobs are industrial production manager, correctional officer and drafter. The difference in pay between doctor and drafter is $111,000, so whoever said do what you love and the money will follow may not have been following this closely.

When the New York Times did a survey about job security, 80% of those surveyed said they were earning the same amount of money or less than they had two years ago. In spite of that, the survey reported that their main economic concern wasn’t money. It was the cost of fuel. Obviously, you can’t get ahead if you can’t get anywhere.

According to a study done by the Economic Policy Institute, the rich are getting ahead faster than the middle and lower classes. The incomes of the richest 5% of Americans increased by 59.8 %. The incomes of the middle 20% of Americans increased by 13% and the incomes for the bottom 20% increased by 11.1%. This might explain why the American Psychological Association reported that 60% of us stress most about money – but I disagree. I think we stress most about lack of money.

Although America is trillions of dollars in debt and personal debt is growing, I stopped worrying about it after reading an ad for anti-wrinkle cream that cost $99. Because I thought that was outlandishly expensive, I Googled anti-wrinkle creams and was shocked to find out they can cost a lot more. These creams are meant to reduce wrinkles, firm skin, remove age spots and more. Unfortunately, none of the creams would remove the worry lines I’d get by spending so much money.

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