Category Archives: Parenting

Parenting Pitfalls – The Two Critical Turning Points of Childhood

Posted by brianwalsh on July 23, 2008 None comments

What are the most frustrating years of being a parent? An overwhelming consensus of parents believe it is when children are two, and then around fourteen.

Neuroscience now gives solid validation that something striking is happening during these times. It all comes down to brain-wiring.

Virtually overnight, around age two, the first significant change appears when a child recognizes that he or she is an individual with a separate identity. At this point, children begin to assert their individuality with the common “me, my, mine” statements. This indicates the early stages of the formation of the conscious mind, and burgeoning neural network.

Taking about five years to fully form, the conscious mind is learning to protect the highly suggestible subconscious mind. Until this critical survival faculty is firmly in place, everything seen, heard, and witnessed has unfettered access to the subconscious.

Harmless statements to a child such as “You’re so messy” or “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” are in reality, potentially damaging suggestions that are conveyed directly to the child’s subconscious mind. Experience indicates that most issues adults present in therapy sessions are related to the core belief patterns established before the age of seven.

The next significant metamorphosis takes place around age fourteen. The teenage brain begins the second transformation in wiring, which accounts for typical adolescent impulsiveness, defiance, lack of organizational skills, and narcissism. At this stage, the brain lacks the neural wiring to effectively moderate behavior and emotional responses. Frequently sparking turmoil, the teenage brain is preparing that individual for autonomy by testing limits, building skills, and encouraging individual initiative.

A parent’s most important role during this stage is to provide children with a secure, loving environment while allowing events to unfold. Rather than reacting, parents need to recognize that these events and struggles are preparing children for life in the real world.

Here are some helpful tips for parents to express unconditional love and acceptance to their child:

In discussion, look them in the eyes, at eye level, not down at them. Focus more on their feelings, challenges, and needs, rather than their behaviors.
Demonstrate that you value their uniqueness and independence. Support their drive to expand their confidence and social skills. Take a deep breath, and think before you speak. Your words have a lasting impact.

Cherish the journey of parenthood. It’s the most responsible job on the planet.

International speaker, Dr. Brian E. Walsh is the author of the bestseller Unleashing Your Brilliance and has also co-authored with John Gray and Jack Canfield the self-help book, 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2.
Find out more here.

How To Build Self Esteem In Your Teenage Daughter

Posted by Tradepla on July 23, 2008 None comments

Being an adolescent has often than not been difficult for most boys and girls.Studies have shown that when puberty sets in, the confidence of boys is likely to increase while the girl’s self-esteem tends to go downhill. The repercussions can be damaging at best and damaging at worst. Girls who do not feel good about themselves are very likely to suffer depression and engage in self-destructive behavior ranging from eating disorders, self mutilation to risky sexual behaviors. It is thus important to be there for them during these growing up years and also find ways to help them to keep up with their self-esteem during these trying times. The following tips are by no means all inclusive, but they are a starting point.

Be a Good Role Model
Being a parent is no easy task and carries with it a heavy responsibility. One of the very basic things that parents can do for their children is to set good examples and be good role models.Both parents are equally important in children’s lives, regardless of the family living situation. When fathers have solid relationships with their daughters and show that they love them, girls will be less likely to seek male attention somewhere else. It can be trying at times to communicate with your teenage daughter, however you must try your best to constantly let her know that you are available and that you love her. This goes for both fathers and mothers. It is helpful when mothers can demonstrate healthy ways of expressing emotions, emotional independence, and other positive attributes. It is a way of educating teen girls that they can speak up without having to resort to destructive ways of having their needs met.

Be Available For Her
Research and studies have continuously shown that teens who feel their parent’s presence and interest in their activities are much less likely to engage in dangerous or negative behaviors. Even if it seems like your teen is ignoring you, she probably is not. It is very likely that she is listening and at the same time trying to assert her independence as she navigates her way through increasing self reliance and fears that comes along with it. Teens are at a difficult crossroad of becoming more independent as the day goes by and also being confronted with the fears of leaving home for college when the time comes, fears of making a living and all other insecurities that come with the responsibilities of maturity. You can help alleviate these fears by constantly making an effort to show your daughter that you are always available for her. In this way, she can come to you when she is ready. But if she is not getting the message that you are there for her, she will instead turn to her peers, boyfriends, substances, or other methods of dealing with her emotions.

Show Your Confidence in Her
At the appropriate occasion, it is important to show your daughter that you have confidence in her abilities, dreams, and achievements. Encourage her in what she does well, and encourage her to try new things. This will help her to feel more confident in herself. During her teenage years she will be confronted with new situations constantly and having a support team can definitely make this much easier. Also consider teaching her on how to take a stand against gossip, school bullies and pressures to do things that she does not want to do. By being mentally equipped, she will have more confidence in herself to handle these situations. Peer pressure at this age can be enormous and when your daughter is well equipped and has the support (you) to deal with it, she can begin to gain confidence in her successes.

Lead By Example
Leading by example is the best way to instill the importance of high self esteem in girls. Should she be exposed to situations of having to witness you suffering from low self esteem or causing someone else to suffer from low self esteem, any lessons that you may have provided would be lost. It cannot be stressed more than you should NEVER berate, insult or intimidate your daughter. This can potentially lead to serious developmental problems that can surface later on in her life. Many girls who suffer mental anguish, teasing, hazing or bullying have remarkably low levels of self esteem and are often timid, unsure and hesitant when dealing with other individuals. Such problems can pass on into adulthood as the scars of childhood issues make a lasting impact on their self esteem.

Paul Hata is active in various community and social programs aimed at providing access to education and training to all. Access 1000s of Educational, Training and Degree Programs here – WorldChristianPages.com and ChristianWorldPages.com

How To Build Self Esteem In Your Children

Posted by Tradepla on July 22, 2008 None comments

Self-esteem is one of the many important things that all parents want to provide for their children and yet many seem to feel that they do not know how and what to do in raising a self-confident child. Very often self-esteem seems to be such a fragile, distant thing that many know but yet do not know how to develop it. Your self-esteem is a compilation of how you feel about yourself. It encompasses everything from your confidence in relationships, to your body image, to your work life. So how do we foster this thing called self-esteem in your child?

From time memorial, all of us have been taught honesty is the best policy. As much as we expect this to be practiced by our children, they do like to be reciprocated likewise. Children are highly sensitive and are able to sense it if and when you are not being honest. Hence, when it comes to dealing with a child’s self-esteem it is best to be honest. For example, if art is not your child’s forte, do not compliment saying that his or her drawing is the best you have ever seen. Your child will know it is not, and will not believe you the next time you say something meant to be positive, no matter how honest it is. You may like to try instead to tell your child something genuine about the piece of artwork or about the effort that has been spent. It is best to make non-judgmental statements such as, I see you have used your imagination in creating the flowers in many different colors.The statement is simply an observation rather than a false statement.

It is also important to understand that your child and your child’s behavior are two separate things. This is not something easy to remember especially in situations when your child is acting out in ways that make you mad or that are unsafe. However, when disciplining your child for the behavior rather than the person, you can positively influence and foster self esteem. Why? If your child feels that you are mad because of him or her as a person rather than for the behavior, this can negatively affect his or her self-esteem. Try using statements to help with this. Say something like,”I do not like it when you leave you leave your toys scattered all over the floor.” This addresses the behavior, rather than “You are a slob!” which attacks the character.

Letting a child make some choices is a good way for them to learn to be less dependent on others. Most children are constantly in situations where they are told what to do, when to do it, where to go, what to eat and many more. When children are given the opportunity to make some choices, regardless of how insignificant these may be, they learn to be self-reliant. As a parent, you would not want your children growing up feeling dependant on others for direction, would you? Simple everyday choices like what to wear (you can offer two or three choices) or choosing a special lunch item will foster your child to think independently.

In helping to boost your child’s self-confidence, it is important that as parents, we must encourage them to develop their talents as well as to try out new things. Trying out new things help to overcome fears of the unknown and at the same time allows us to learn to deal with success and failure. If a child is never given the chance to try out new things, this can possibly create problems later in life. After all, we live in a world that is ever changing! Life is never constant, whether it is a move to a new city or starting a new career. Children who are experienced at trying new things, even if small, will find that life’s bigger transitions like leaving for college and starting a career – are much easier to handle.

Paul Hata is active in various community and social programs aimed at providing access to education and training to all. Access 1000s of Educational, Training and Degree Programs here – WorldChristianPages.com and ChristianWorldPages.com

A New Baby – New Gift Ideas

Posted by jetfly on July 22, 2008 None comments

First-time parents especially consider the gift a measure of how much you care about them. With so much emotion wrapped up in a simple gift, you want to shop carefully, bearing in mind that the parents are the ones who consider the gift a symbol of your friendship, so take your time and try to find a unique baby gift!

While selecting a gift, keep in mind that babies like the rest of us require a lot of stuff! If you think the new parents need a bassinet or a diaper pail, you can take this gift idea a step further — fill it with the essentials, for example, diapers, wipes, soap, shampoo, and socks.

Remember too that newborns don’t stay new for long. Purchase clothing items in several sizes. Many people will be giving the child newborn sized gifts, so get something baby can grow into and the parents will be forever grateful to you. A bassinet filled with goodies is only one idea. Think of some gifts that you know would be appreciated by the parents and then build on that idea. In no time you’ll have a unique gift.

One gift you can never go wrong with is clothes. Today, there are many adorable baby outfits that cannot be resisted! Fortunately, newborns require a lot of clothes. They go through multiple changes of clothing daily, and they keep growing, rapidly. This constant need for more clothes ensures that gifts of clothing will always be welcomed by the parents of the baby and remembered long after the initial excitement of the arrival of the baby. Moreover, with some creativity and careful choices, clothing can be a very special baby gift!

For example, personalized baby gifts look very good and demonstrate to the recipient that you have made an extra effort in selecting the gift. A monogrammed baby towel, drinking cup, or baby dishes with baby’s name painted on them can make your gift stand out.

You can also do something as easy as purchasing a variety of scrapbook supplies, so the proud parents can make a customized album to capture the sweet memories of their baby’s childhood!

Today, most expectant parents register for baby gifts, especially if there is going to be a baby shower. This makes it easy for you to check on what they already have (or will be getting) and what they still need. But don’t overlook simply asking the parents what they would appreciate. Sometimes new parents wait to buy things for a new baby until after they get gifts, so that they don’t end up with duplicates. You can make it easier on them by picking up the item for them yourself.

Finally for the baby who seemingly has everything, you can make a book filled with coupons promising free babysitting, running an errand for the parents or providing some homemade dinners so that in those first few weeks the baby is home, they don’t have to worry about what’s for dinner.

And one more idea — money. You can make an investment in baby’s future. Open a savings account in baby’s name, purchase a bond, or even a small share of stock! Think outside the box, it’s only the baby that is small, your gift options are limitless. Free up your imagination, and your gift for baby will be remembered for a long time to come.

Chris Jensen is a contributing Author of Jetfly Blog. For more related articles and reviews visit Jetfly Family & Parenting Blog now. Also, for the Best up-to-date related Online Products, check out Jetfly Developmental Baby Toys Shop for Todays Current Online Deals.

A Parent’s Must-Know Guide to Internet Safety

Posted by bestselfhelp on July 21, 2008 None comments

Being a parent today is much different than it has been in generations past. Even though the Internet has been in homes for nearly 20 years, it has just been within the past 5 to 10 years that teenagers and children have had routine use of the Internet.

If you are beginning to feel like your children know more about the online world than you do, it’s no wonder that you’re concerned about keeping them safe. There are many steps that you can take to protect your children and to direct their online behavior so they present themselves correctly. Here are five important places to start.

1. The first step you should take is to ban computers from your children’s bedrooms. The entire family should use a common desktop computer that is in a well-trafficked area in the house. Keeping the computer (and your children) in sight will help minimize where they visit online and what type of activities they can take part in. Limiting their computer time is also a good way to keep them safe. A child that is on for an hour per day, rather than four or six, can get in a lot less trouble.

2. Set some ground rules with your children for their Internet use. For example, many parents allow their children to have their own e-mail address but only if the parents have the passwords. When you use the computer you can double check that this rule is being followed by checking the history and making sure no unauthorized email addresses are being used.

3. One of the most popular sites these days is Myspace. Myspace is a social networking community that brings people together from all walks of life. It’s also become a popular place for teens and preteens to meet one another and bond after school. You can make sure your children are staying safe by building their Myspace account with them. This way, you know the password and you can check in on the account from time to time. Make sure that you communicate to them the importance of limiting their communication to friends only. There are many spam programs that will ask to be your child’s friend, and then expose them to inappropriate material. If your children only accept friend requests from people that they know in real life, this cuts down on their exposure.

4. Make sure that your attempts to keep them safe aren’t all punitive. You can prevent a lot of problems by getting involved in your child’s online life. Visit websites together and let them show you where they like to “hang out” online. Encourage them to tell you about their online friends and how they spend their time online. If you are a part of their world, you’ll know exactly what they’ve been up to and whether they are following your ground rules or not.

5. If you need to, you can take your level of parental protection to the next level with a professional monitoring software that will tell you just exactly where they have been. This type of software can also limit their usage to specific sites. This can be very helpful if your child is young.

Protecting your child online is easy if you involve yourself in what they are doing from the start. Interacting with your child and the Internet in a friendly way when they are 10 is a lot easier than cracking down on bad online usage when they are 16. Just like with all other parenting areas, it’s better to try to prevent problems first.

Jamie Jefferson writes for Susies-Coupons.com, where you can find Vistaprint Coupons as well as Symantec Coupons. Symantec has a number of programs to protect privacy and security online.

How the Meanings of Names Determine the Choice

Posted by WMMedia on July 21, 2008 None comments

Parents are constantly looking for names for their children that are different and uncommon. Sometimes a name is passed down from generation to generation and it is just expected that the name will used as a given name. Some parents begin looking at names according to the meanings of names because they want to find something that will give their child character.

Looking back at the history of names their meanings can be dated back to the Bible or the Koran. This is still popular today. People are still looking at these books as inspiration for a name for their children. There are some cultures that go back to Ancient cultures such as the Chinese and the Aztec in search for a name for their child. People often wonder why people do this – why search for a different name? The main reason is that people want to find a name with a different meaning.

There a numerous baby naming books that you an purchase at a local bookstore that offers parents- to- be thousands of names and their meanings to pick from. In this book you will find the name and the origin of the name. This is very important to some people. This is because there are some names that have meanings that are not very flattering and people often want to avoid these names. In addition to meaning, popularity of the name is also taken into consideration as well. Some parents want to avoid names that are really popular whereas other parents seek out these names.

Each year a poll is taken to find out what the most popular names of that particular year are. The then the list is made available to the public. There may be some discrepancy in the list and there may be names that are more popular in one area over another but the list gives you a general idea of what names are most popular.

For example, in 2004 the most popular names in America for boys and girls were Jacob and Emily. The list is created from top down with the top being the most popular names. In each list there are about ten to twenty names but there are some websites that offer thousands of names. In addition to listing the names, the meanings are often included as well. Jacob for example is a Hebrew name that means held by the heel. Emily on the other hand is Latin and this particular name means industrious. It might be given to a child that a parent thinks is going to be industrious or wishes them to be. Other names such as Matthew are very popular as this name means a gift of god. People feel this way about their children and feel that their name should reflect that.

Names sometimes seem old for a baby, but you have to look at what the name will sound like on an adult. While it is nice to have a cute sounding name for a little baby, it may be a cause for ridicule of the child when he/she gets older.

For more information on the names and their meanings,name translations and lots of other topics related toname meanings visit http://www.Names-And-Their-Meanings.Co.Uk

Name Meanings – Why Are They Important?

Posted by WMMedia on July 21, 2008 None comments

A given name or a first name is the name given to a person to differentiate that person from someone else in the family or someone who carries the same surname or last name. This name is given to a person by the parents or guardians. The name is not carried down from generation to generation like the surname. Different groups have different name meanings and use the given names and surnames in different ways.

In most European and American countries a person’s name is usually written with the given name first followed by the surname. However, in countries such as Hungry the given name generally comes after the surname. In some East Asian countries a given name could be given to an entire group of people and they must share the name. When done in this manner, the given name is meant to denote a whole generation of people rather than just one person.

In most Western countries, people typically have one or more given names. If there is more than one given name, there is one name that is used on daily basis and this is the name that person goes by and then there may be supplementary given names that are referred to as the middle name or names. Legally a child’s given name is the name that is given to them at the time of their birth. This is the name that will appear on the birth certificate. However there are some countries that do not permit the parents to give the child a name that may cause them harm. In this case the name is taken into consideration and it is decided if the name is appropriate or not.

Today there has been an influence by popular culture on the names selected by parents. People are starting to move away from naming their children after another family member to naming their children after people and names that they see in the media. For example, in 2004 in the United Kingdom, Keira became a popular name as people began watching movies with the British actress Keira Knightly in them. Characters from fiction also seem to influence the naming of children as well. Research as shown that when a new name comes out in a television show or a movie there is an increased use of the name in the following year.

People often become dissatisfied with their names and attempt to change them. However, changing your name is not as simple as one might think. In some countries people are not permitted to change their name without legal consent from the parents who gave them the name. This means that if the parents are living then they must sign a paper stating that it is alright for their child to change their name. In other parts of the world, the person wishing to change their name must have a reason for wanting to change their name. For example, they may wish to change their name because it is too hard to spell or they may want to change it for professional reasons, such as actors. There is a procedure that must be followed when changing your name.

For more information on the name meanings,how the meanings of names determine the choice and lots of other topics related to names and their meanings visit http://www.Names-And-Their-Meanings.Co.Uk

Choosing Names – Their Meanings Are Not All You Should Consider

Posted by WMMedia on July 21, 2008 None comments

When parents choose names for their children, they often choose what they like at the time. They do not think about names, their meanings and the effect the name could have on the child when it is grown. Some names are variants of others, which in turn may not have any meaning associated with them. The name may actually be a surname and the parents want to keep it in the family to remind the child of his/her ancestors. Avery is one such surname that doubles as a given name. Other examples are Scott, Tracy, Stewart, Doyle, Taylor, Quinn, and many more.

Parents like to choose a name that is different than others in the neighborhood so that the child will not be confused with another child of the same name when he/she starts school. However, due to the popularity of a name in a given year, a teacher will likely have several children by the same name in the class. This means that each one will likely have to be called by their full name or have the first initial of the surname used in order to distinguish them. Once parents choose a name completely out of the ordinary for their child, it will soon become commonplace as others will then start to give their babies the same name.

There are many books and online sites that will give you the meanings of many names. Once you do choose a name consider how it will suit the child and if it could cause him/her problems in school where other children may tease them because of their name. A name that seems cute for a little baby may often be childish on a grown man. If you really like the meaning, but not the particular name itself, you can look for variations on the name or diminutive forms. Looking for diminutive forms of the name is a good idea if you don’t want your child to have a nickname as others try to shorten the name.

You also have to make sure that the name you choose goes well with the surname. A little boy named Chester, for example, will be the source of ridicule if his surname is Field, because his full name would be Chesterfield. A short first name goes well with a long surname. You also have to look at how difficult the name is to pronounce or to spell. If you have a long first name, it may take your child quite a while to learn how to spell it and he/she may in fact shorten the name themselves.

At the same time you don’t want to choose a name that has a negative meaning. Some names may have different connotations in different cultures. Many names translate into different meanings in different languages, so this is something that you might want to consider. Since the world is becoming smaller and smaller with global trade and communications, you also need to consider this fact in choosing a name. One that is easy to pronounce in any language is a good choice.

For more information on names, their meanings,name translations and lots of other topics related to the meanings of names visit http://www.Names-And-Their-Meanings.Co.Uk

Names and Their Meanings for Personality Traits

Posted by WMMedia on July 21, 2008 None comments

All of the babies born anywhere in the world go through a naming ceremony. The name their parents choose for them usually has some significance for the parents and for the children as well. In earlier days and today to some extent, parents choose names from those of their family. For example, children are named for their parents and grandparents and in many families there is one name that is handed down through the generations. For some others names and their meaning are particularly important as parents look for a name that will exemplify the type of personality they think the child will have.

There is a vast difference between cultures in the way children are named. As mentioned before, family names are often considered to be important in some cultures. In others, the child receives his/her name based on events that may have taken place during the pregnancy or on the day of the birth. Giving a name to a child is one of the most important events in a child’s life because this is the name the child will have to live with.

Some cultures have elaborate celebrations to celebrate naming a child. In the Khasi tribe in Africa, for example, the naming takes place within a day or so of the birth. A relative prepares a sacrifice by filling several dishes with rice as well as filling a gourd of rice liquor. The liquor is then poured into the rice while the relative recites a list of names. The time it take the liquor to pour out of the gourd into the dish of rice will determine the child’s name. The one that takes the longest is the one chosen. Thus the name has a religious connotation because of this ceremony.

There is a rhyme about choosing names for personality traits:

Monday’s child is full of grace

Tuesday’s child is fair of face

Wednesday’s child is full of woe

Thursday’s child has far to go

Friday’s child is loving and giving

Saturday’s child works hard for a living

But the child that is born on the Sabbath Day

Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.

Many parents look at the day of the week on which the child is born and try to choose a name that suits with this rhyme. One thing that is important to remember is that when this rhyme was written, the word “gay” does not have the connotation that it does today. At that time, this word meant “happy” and this is what parents should focus on when choosing names according to the rhyme.

Have you ever wondered what your name means? The name David, for example, refers to Kind David from the Bible and so means king. Tracy is a form of the name Teresa, which really does not have any meaning except to be in memory of St. Teresa. It is also a surname commonly found in Normandy. So looking up what your name means may not actually give you any information. The name you have was probably one that was in your family for generations or a different one that your parents heard and liked.

For more information on the names,their meanings,how the name translations determine the choice and lots of other topics related to name meanings visit http://www.Names-And-Their-Meanings.Co.Uk

Breast Pumps For Better Living

Posted by dasleben on July 19, 2008 None comments

Many women will tell you just how excellent breastfeeding can be for a new baby. Certain compounds and minerals necessary for your baby’s health can be found in natural breast milk. Beyond just the simple closeness of baby and mother during breastfeeding, those compounds found in the breast milk are the best for your newborn. However, are you always able to give your baby the nutritious breast milk he or she needs? Breast pumps are the best solution to this problem. In this article I’ll describe why you should consider a breast pump, and which breast pumps are the best for you and your baby.

As many mothers will tell you, breast feeding takes a large amount of your personal time. If you’ve ever breast fed, you’ll know that this full-time commitment to your baby’s breastfeeding is tough to give in a fast-paced and busy life. A breast pump can provide your baby real breast milk while you’re at work. Pumped out of the breast, the milk can then be chilled for later feeding. At feeding time, the milk is warmed up and the child is given the breast milk he/she needs. If you don’t use a breast pump, you’ll have to be available to breast feed your baby at all hours of the day or night.

Electric breast pumps are all the rage in the world today. Batteries typically power these pumps, which leave you the ability to work with your hands while you’re using the pump. Privacy is of course one of the main concerns when using a breast pump, but electric breast pumps allow mothers to use it while doing things at home, or even at work if she’s given some privacy. Technology has taken the electric breast pump market by storm, evidenced by the brands that learn how you express your milk and copy that rhythm.

Manual breast pumps are another solution that one may be able to look into. If you don’t mind doing a little extra work, manual breast pumps are great for people on a tight budget who don’t want to spend the money for an electric breast pump. These manual breast pumps can be more gentle to use than the electric types, so this may be a good alternative if you want to be able to use the pump at your own rhythm.

With these breast pump solutions, mothers are able to get out and take some time off to relax or carry on with their lives while their child is breastfeeding. Weaning a child can take months, so using a breast pump is a great way to free up your time and live a normal life until he or she can take normal food.

Joe provides links to cheap dual breast pump products at his website. Included are links to avent isis breast pump brands.